Celebrating
by esther247
Summary: "There will always be something to mourn but we have to take it upon ourselves to find something to celebrate. To remind ourselves that lives are worth living or else….we're all just living and dying in vain and I can't go on fighting like that. It's no way to live..." In spite of the darkness that plagues them, Nightwing and Zatanna fight to find a moment to celebrate.


"Bonfire at the beach!" Beast boy announced excitedly.

M'gann laughed, "Sure, we should celebrate." she agreed.

"Celebrate what?" Conner asked in a hard voice, "We just lost Artemis a month ago to Kaldur, who is still plotting against us and-"

"Hey, we know" bumblebee said cutting him off, "there will always be something to mourn but we have to take it upon ourselves to find something to celebrate, to remind ourselves that lives are worth living or else….we're all just living and dying in vain and I can't go on fighting like that. It's no way to live and Artemis wouldn't want it like that either. So tonight," she said turning to look everyone in the eyes, "we party, we party hard because its been a good week."

The rest of the team nodded and murmured in agreement.

"Great." She beamed as she flew into the center of the cave to give directions.

"Alpha squad you're in charge of food, Beta set up the nets, games, barbeque area and decorations. Gamma, you are in charge of all entertainment, music, movies and the works. Meet back at the beach in one hour."

A chorus of okays and excited chatter filled and then exited the cave as they took off to prepare themselves.

She flew over to where her two friends were chatting animatedly.

"Zee, Rocket you two slumming it for the night?"

"Hell yeah!" Rocket shouted, "I'll help the gamma team."

"How about you Zee?"

Zatanna was about to make her escape but saw the look in Karen's eye telling her it was an inevitable cause.

She shook her head and smiled, "Sure I've got a few hours to kill."

"So _**you're**_ coming to the beach? With _**us**_?" Impulse asked before gazing at her longingly. "That's so crash."

Zatanna threw him a side glance and chuckled, he couldn't be more obvious.

"It'll never be that crash kid, now scram." Nightwing laughed.

Impluse shrugged, "It's just a matter of time before you realize I'm all the man you'll ever need."

Jaime brought his hand to head in embarrassment, "Hermano you're way out of your league."

Karen cocked her head to the side and laughed before pipping in. "I'd listen to your friend Impulse, Zatanna looks nice but she's anything but."

Impulse ran up to her full speed and winked from behind his goggles. "Nice girls, aren't really my mode, just how bad are you?"

Zatanna and Karen's mouths popped open in utter shock.

"Okay!" Nightwing said "Get out of here before I have you do drills all night or worse, before she turns you into a frog."

Jaime grabbed Impulse by the collar and started dragging him towards the exit of the cave while Karen followed.

"Ribbit!" Impulse cried before winking and waiving.

Zatanna smiled warily before chuckling reluctantly and waiving him out. "So that kid, either has guts or is a glutton for punishment."

"You're only encouraging him, you know." Nightwing scolded her as he walked towards the center of the cave.

Zatanna turned to look at Nightwing who had just pulled up the holoscreen computer.

"Funny, I don't really think he needs encouragement, he seems really self-motivated." She remarked.

Nightwing shrugged. "He is, but a death glare or two, a skill I know you have in your repertoire, might send him running in the other direction. You should try it sometime, he's really just testing how far he can go with you. I'm actually surprised you haven't turned him into something already. It's kind of your signature move." He reminded her.

Zatanna laughed, "Yeah it was but with him…..I don't know, I guess I don't mind so much. He's harmless, you know? Stupid, cocky, but harmless. He reminds me of Wally….a lot."

She watched as the muscles tightened throughout his neck and back at the sound of his best friend's name. She hung her head as memories of Artemis that she had been trying to repress surfaced now and took a shaky but steadying breath.

Nightwing grunted in response, the light atmosphere gone between them.

Zatanna sighed and shook off the heavy emotion promising to weigh her down with further contemplation. "Hey," she started, "you're coming right? To the beach? To celebrate-"

"No," Nightwing said cutting her off, "I've got work to do."

"You always have work to do." She said, her voice deadpanning.

He looked at her flatly and she met his fixed gaze with one of her own. She was determined.

"Look Karen's right…..about everything and you're their leader. You set the tone Dick, please just come and unwind if only for a little while. You deserve it, we all do." She argued. "I hate watching you turn into-" she stopped herself cold as she realized where her sentence was headed.

"Please." She said after regaining her composure.

"Zee…." He started, he hated letting her down, he felt like he'd been doing a lot of that lately though it was unbeknownst to her.

He'd lied to her and got her to be a tool in the very lie that left her numb for weeks. She thought her best friend was dead and worse, she blamed the man she considered a brother for that death. The only family she had left was falling apart before her and here she was trying to cheer him up. As if he deserved her kindness.

His jaw flexed in frustration, he had a job to do and he' be damned if he didn't do it. He owed that to her, to Wally, to Artemis and Kaldur. He couldn't afford to go out and have fun while so much was at stake. If he really wanted to earn her trust back, he'd stay here and get more work done.

"Sorry, no." he said again in a hard voice.

"Okay fine." she said stubbornly crossing her arms in front of her chest.

His eyes narrowed from behind the cowl and he turned to face her again slowly. He knew that voice and that stance all too well.

"Fine what?" He asked grudgingly.

"Fine," Zatanna said slowly, "I'll help you, the faster we get your work done, the faster we get to join the team."

"Thanks but no thanks, I work-"

"Alone?" Zatanna finished for him incredulously. "Since when? Maybe in Bludhaven but here? You belong to a team, remember?"

"A team you're no longer part of," he reminded her coldly, "remember?"

Zatanna flinched, "I thought I was always welcome." She countered softly, using his own words against him.

"Maybe you've overstayed your welcome." Dick replied with less force.

He braced himself for the pain he would feel by even saying those words to her, he couldn't do this, he couldn't worry about nonmembers of the team right now, when actual team members were in deep cover risking their lives. And yet, even as he said the words there was no power in them, no conviction, he missed his old team, he missed the ease of it all, he even missed her…..especially on nights like these where he was surrounded by teammates but completely alone. He watched as hurt rippled through her features.

She walked up to him slowly, her eyes searching, asking for permission; testing to see if he would push her away. He didn't, she walked right up to him and he didn't so much as flinch.

"Have I?" she asked her eyes pouring into the whites of his masks, beseeching him to yield to her, to open up to her.

He hated the way her proximity made every hair on his neck stand at attention, while goosebumps covered him from head to toe…not that she could see it. With one look she had him paralyzed, it was like they were teens again, except this time it was worse because they weren't. It was worse because even though there was supposed to be nothing there anymore, they couldn't help but coming right back to where they had both began.

Before he knew how it had even happened, she was in his arms, his hand at the small of her back and his other hand around her waist like a rope. He leaned in to her and stopped just short of brushing her lips with his own.

"This won't end well." he said in warning to both himself and the woman he held in his arms and in his gaze.

"For who?" she asked bringing her eyes up to his.

"I don't want to hurt you Zee….I can't….if we do this now, you're going to hate me later." He promised though his grip around her tightened.

Her hands which had found their way up to his shoulders, moved so that she could take off his mask. He didn't stop her and she let his deep blue eyes meet hers. She watched as they revealed his battle in grief and more importantly in this moment of grave honesty. He wasn't bluffing, not in the slightest, she would hate him….well as much as she could hate him and he wanted to protect her from whatever dark part of him that could worsen that pain.

She stroked his face under her soft hands, and he leaned into her hands, closing his eyes and savoring her touch as if it would be a very long time…..possibly even the last time that he'd feel her warmth so close.

She could feel her heart beginning to break, he was already too far gone. He'd already committed the crime and they were just waiting for the other shoe to drop; she could feel it now.

"What have you done?" she whispered, her voice trembled.

Dick just shook his head in reply, he couldn't tell her. It must be bad, she realized.

Zatanna pulled in a ragged breath and stroked her thumb over his lower lip.

"I could make you tell me," she reminded him, but it was an offer and not a threat. Even now, she was offering to free him from the prison he'd locked himself in, even if it meant crushing her in the process. She knew it would hurt her, but she also knew that if he was refusing to tell her now, it meant that he was still there... working in the darkness.

He just looked at her gravely in return.

She nodded in understanding and he sighed, bringing their foreheads together.

She could feel the heat brimming over her lashes and running down her face. She couldn't stand how he made her feel, he gave her all the power to choose and yet she felt so weak. She knew, she knew her lover for him was one of her greatest weaknesses, the story never changed and yet never got old. Every logical cell in her body told her to leave, to walk away, run or fly…..to make her escape quickly before his words rang true but she couldn't. Not when they were both so broken and not while they held the other's antidote so close.

She knew she would regret the words as she spoke them but it didn't stop her lips from saying them anyway.

"Then love me until I hate you." she offered weakly. She shook her head while she spoke and almost laughed at her own misfortune. This was going to leave a scar, she knew it, he knew it...but they were both so desperate for the other, no moment mattered more than the now.

"That's a really bad idea." He told her though he smiled reluctantly understanding the dark humor in her eyes.

"Yeah, I know but the other alternative is leaving and I'm already where I want to be."

His eyes bore into hers and his need, seemingly greater than her own burned through his eyes. "I need a favor." He whispered.

"Another charm?" she breathed in confusion.

"No," he said shaking his head against hers, "I need you to promise me, that no matter what, you won't give up on me. I meant what I said all those years ago, I don't want to become….I….I want to come home to you Zee and I will. One day, I will, but I need you to believe in me for a little while longer. Just be patient."

Zatanna smiled through her tears, "Okay."

"Okay?" he asked again, "Because it might be a long time from now and you might be around anymore if you save him." He reminded her.

"Okay," she promised again.

He smiled and let go of a shaky breath, one he felt like he'd been holding for months. Zatanna noticed his palpable relief and smiled.

"It's been a good week." She whispered.

"Let's celebrate." He said sealing his lips over hers.

"Well look who finally decided to join us. Its past noon and you're just now getting here? What gives and where were you last night?" Robin asked Nightwing as he walked in to watch the rest of the team train. "You missed all the fun."

"Celebrating." Nightwing answered before walking towards the center of the room. "Okay team bring it in! We've got a long week ahead of us."


End file.
